Taking it's toll on me, that depression is. I'm still feeling shitty and really badly upset. Yeah she text me but how could i reply with no credit? The 2nd text sounded pissy, like she's the one upset. YEAH RIGHT. Try standing in my shoes! Not moaning at all but I just love it that she had to go and kiss some guy she met there, practically a stranger and it's even more ironic that all this would never have happened if I hadn't told my mate to invite her. It's like just trying to rub in the fact that I can't be with her. Brush me aside, someone who genuinely cares for her, chose him over me, someone who is on the rebound looking for fun. I'm not trying to horrible to her but she was just manipulated, I can see him and his mate laughing about it in the morning. HE don't give a shit about her. I do and I get nothing but misery. Yet she just seemed happy about meeting this guy, her friend said to me that she's just going to get her hopes up and be disappointed, how d'you think I feel?! I actually hopes she is now, so she can see how I've been feeling these last couple of days. Overall that night has been possibly the worst of my life. Thanks, you've made me feel so much better about myself! NOT!

I'm feeling that my self-esteem is at a possible all time low. I try not to let stuff drag me down, but this is succeding at it already. GOSH!

I know this is like incredibly personal but I just need to vent it all out right now. I can't think straight enough to conjure up anything else to write about. I know this like a turning point, a definitive part of my life that I will probably never forget. As depressing as it is, things can only get better right?

Radiohead - 15 Step (Live on Jools Holland)

Liam Finn - Lead Balloon

I need to see my mates and be cheered up. I need to have some fun.

Metronomy - Heartbreaker